Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

 

Happy Easter (if you celebrate that kind of thang, and if not, just imbibe your choice upper or downer and enjoy the trippy sight of adults and children dressed as giant rabbits searching for the chocolate-filled offspring of flightless birds. I really hope that if intelligent extraterrestrial life ever visits earth that they choose a day like this. It would make for so many great, "It's not what it looks like" moments... you know, like that time that David Carradine accidentally asphyxiated himself in a Thai hotel... too soon? Meh, sorry.).

I imagine the alien-human interaction would sound something like this:

And I don't know about you, but the image of someone in a 'Furry' costume is for me permanently associated with the community of folks who like to dress up and "chill, eat and do fun things together" (i.e. do each other while sweating profusely under their polyester alter egos). Everyday is Easter for some super friends!

I'm sure "Bebop Avant" is having all sorts of fun. Come to think of it, I have a feeling Lisa Frank was probably into this kind of shit as well...

Exhibit A: 

[image via creepylisafrank.tumblr.com]

Exhibit B:

Onceuponawin.com? I guess Charlie Sheen is also into Lisa Frank. By my infallible 'all weebles are wobbles' logic, that also means that Charlie Sheen is into Furries, which, considering the source, isn't actually that hard to believe. Tiger blood parties? You dress as a tiger and/or cover your naked body in lines of coke arranged like tiger stripes and let guests go to town - your call.


Alright, so this post is officially more fucked up and loosely bound than I intended, and I have real things I need to attend to, so... sorry for ruining your holiday with images of giant fornicating nerdrabbits and Lisa Frank inspired coke orgies!

Don't hate the messenger, these things are natural and beautiful...  I think (actually, no, they're probably not).

"Put your mental burden in my mind-vice, and I will crush it."

Jack Donaghy, voice of the future?! Perhaps if Google and 30 Rock have their way.

Google's acquisition of Phonetic Arts brings hope to the masses who have suffered grave miscommunication as a result of butchered Google Voicemail transcriptions. The Googquisition will also allow for more rapid development of realistic speech synthesis and state-of-the-art prank phone calls.

I wonder if Real Dolls are next on Google's hit-list of conquests. That would surely make for an interesting coupling of technologies aimed at the rapid development of functionalized and realistic synthetic girlfriends. Certainly one must examine the motivations driving new technological breakthroughs.

P.S. Kudos to those of you who, like Liz Lemon, use your friends as your therapist. Not only do they take your insurance, but the money you save can go to actual (retail) therapy. I even made up a jingle about it...

"Retail Therapy, you get somethin' for your money!"

Somebody needs to auto-tune that shit!


Disclaimer: The Real Dolls site is NSFW, nor is it safe for anyone with an aversion to graphic images of synthetic human bits.