It's Not Ok, Creeper!

Aaaand, we're back!

Sorry to hold out on you folks. I know how important a spoonful of ICK and OhMehGawd are every of couple days.

Since OkCupid provides so much fodder for our Creeper files, in honor of their $50 million dollor aquisition by Match.com yesterday, I thought we'd start off with some choice messages from our favorite OkCreepers!

Note: All messages are transcribed exactly as recieved, replete with shitty grammar and spelling!

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In general I feel somewhat bad about giving away full usernames. When you name yourself kum2day, I don't.

"Shalom ;-D broaden your horizons shy won't get your lips kissed for valentines day.......excuse me but you are beautiful. What is your take on Egypt and the monster storm were having? Globle warming???"

Keeper!

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This guy sent a very flattering message:

Subject:  "As a hindu once said: 'HOLY COW!'"

"I would LOVE to BS some time... but honestly I just wanted to tell you OMFG!!!! You are GOREGOUS... Not even like normal goregous, you are in a whole different catagory of your own! ... I mean, I'd love to talk but I just had to express my actual thoughts regardless... I can't believe you're single or online dationg... You should be floating above someone making sure they don't get hit by a car or something..."

Too bad this was his picture:

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This message was from Dr_sexuality69, a complimentary man of few words:

Subject: "your hair is really impressive"

"let's be friends"

See what he did there? The "Dr" part lends credibility, indicating that this man can be a provider. The "sexuality69" let's you know that he respects you and is looking for a profound emotional connection -- also that he can count.

Since he didn't provide a picture, I'm going to assume this is him:

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Lastly, I think I've stumbled upon a kindred spirit via http://itsnotokokcupid.tumblr.com/!

Happy hunting, Creeperinos!

Lipstick On a Pig

Oh Patti, you did it again. How do you find these winners?

Robin Kassner, like  most  all people, deserves to find compatible love. Unfortunately, she's barking up the wrong tall, uninterested tree this week on The Millionaire Matchmaker. Lady's cougin' hardcore, offering up a big one-two Maserati-Ducati combo in exchange for some knowingly forced attention-affection. 

Keep those showers running people. It's about time to wash away the ICK again.

Sads. Grow up babylady! No quality person is going to say hello to that kitty the way you're acting.

The episode can also be purchased through Amazon.com via the following link: 

Hello Kitty in a One Horse Town

The Millionaire Matchmaker Goes American Psycho!

 

Seriously? The shifty eyes, the leering, the uncomfortable touching/questioning/body positioning/coercion...

Q-Tip is like the love child of Patrick Bateman and Uncle Fester. These guys are out of control Creepers!!

You must watch, but make sure to keep a bar of soap nearby to wash off the ICK!

You can also purchase the episode through Amazon.com via the link below: