It's Not Ok, Creeper!

Aaaand, we're back!

Sorry to hold out on you folks. I know how important a spoonful of ICK and OhMehGawd are every of couple days.

Since OkCupid provides so much fodder for our Creeper files, in honor of their $50 million dollor aquisition by Match.com yesterday, I thought we'd start off with some choice messages from our favorite OkCreepers!

Note: All messages are transcribed exactly as recieved, replete with shitty grammar and spelling!

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In general I feel somewhat bad about giving away full usernames. When you name yourself kum2day, I don't.

"Shalom ;-D broaden your horizons shy won't get your lips kissed for valentines day.......excuse me but you are beautiful. What is your take on Egypt and the monster storm were having? Globle warming???"

Keeper!

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This guy sent a very flattering message:

Subject:  "As a hindu once said: 'HOLY COW!'"

"I would LOVE to BS some time... but honestly I just wanted to tell you OMFG!!!! You are GOREGOUS... Not even like normal goregous, you are in a whole different catagory of your own! ... I mean, I'd love to talk but I just had to express my actual thoughts regardless... I can't believe you're single or online dationg... You should be floating above someone making sure they don't get hit by a car or something..."

Too bad this was his picture:

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This message was from Dr_sexuality69, a complimentary man of few words:

Subject: "your hair is really impressive"

"let's be friends"

See what he did there? The "Dr" part lends credibility, indicating that this man can be a provider. The "sexuality69" let's you know that he respects you and is looking for a profound emotional connection -- also that he can count.

Since he didn't provide a picture, I'm going to assume this is him:

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Lastly, I think I've stumbled upon a kindred spirit via http://itsnotokokcupid.tumblr.com/!

Happy hunting, Creeperinos!

Wruh Wroh! Japanese Marathon Fail

Hahaa! Yeah, that sucks. To be fair, I probably would have made that same mistake. I'll make sure never to try to win a marathon in that case, cause I really don't want to deal with that kind of disappointment.

Oh well. Shit happens.

Here's another guy who just felt like runnin':

Lipstick On a Pig

Oh Patti, you did it again. How do you find these winners?

Robin Kassner, like  most  all people, deserves to find compatible love. Unfortunately, she's barking up the wrong tall, uninterested tree this week on The Millionaire Matchmaker. Lady's cougin' hardcore, offering up a big one-two Maserati-Ducati combo in exchange for some knowingly forced attention-affection. 

Keep those showers running people. It's about time to wash away the ICK again.

Sads. Grow up babylady! No quality person is going to say hello to that kitty the way you're acting.

The episode can also be purchased through Amazon.com via the following link: 

Hello Kitty in a One Horse Town

Land of the Lost

Planning a trip this holiday season? Don't forget to robustly reinforce your urostomy bag! Also, for those amongst you feeling less Lady Liberated and more the shame of your nakedness, one clever engineer has gifted us with the ability to Adam and Eve our TSA troubles away! Don't leave home without your Rocky Flats Gear!

And for those of you looking for an alternative to airport travel, there's always IT. Some trade-offs are worthwhile, I guess.

Thanks a bunch iZak W. for the heads up!

Keeper.

We all make these mistakes. Don't worry about it, frail old man. We understand. It was heavy and your bones ache.

PS Don't you think the congregation overreacted for a little longer than necessary? I mean seeing the statue pop back up without a head would be pretty funny unless you considered the wood statue to be the earthly embodiment of an ethereal being. Oh, you did? Well then that would be pretty shocking wouldn't it?