Great Website - "Back to the Future!!"

No flux capacitor needed this time around. Just hunting down fun people and their old photos.

Happy Valentine's Day, friends! <3

Enjoy!

Also, funny personal dating adventure coming up for you folks after tonight. I'm sure you can't wait. You should probably hold your breath.

Sing it, Dr. King!

 

Right on! Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is great not just because it turns Sunday night into second Saturday, but also because it offers a chance to reflect on hard-won rights.

It's also a day to think about the fights that still need to be fought (right, LGBT friends?).

In regards to marriage and civil union rights for ALL citizens, my very wise friend Kate T. said it well:

"The question remains, however, why the government should have any role in people's relationships.

Why do I need a piece of paper essentially promising that I sleep with someone to grant me a tax break or rights to their insurance? How in any way does that make sense?

What exactly are we trying to measure with marriages or civil unions? Commitment? Love? Fidelity? Are these things that a) can be measured and b) can be measured by participating in a government institution? 50% of divorced Americans would probably say no.

Marriage and commitment is an important part of huge percentage of the population's religion, culture and/or individual values. I support all of those people. I just don't understand why the government gets involved in things that are religious, cultural or relate to individual values.

Civil unions may be a step in the right direction, but the problem that remains is one of scope: these unions cannot begin to address the myriad types of significant relationships in people's lives.

If I live with the same people for five years, we can't all go down to city hall and apply for an 'urban family union' license. And yet these bonds - often as profound and enduring as romantic love - do not afford the same entitlements.

And that's just a 'for instance'. We live in an age where the nuclear family is increasingly becoming obsolete. Families take all shapes and forms, and frankly it's none of the government's business what that shape and form is. What we really need is an examination of, a discussion of and a complete and total overhaul of relationship-based government entitlements structures."

Lady, those are most definitely auto-tune worthy words! Sing it girl.

Ads From a Simpler Time

And by simple I mean dumb.

 

Frayser Ladies... you ARE the mothers of these 90 babies!

 

Maury Povich just came a little, and screamed like Ned Flanders over purple drapes, because he now gets to (presumably) reveal the results of 90 paternity tests. Now, I'm not saying that every pregnant Frayser High School girl will need one, but Maury could really use some good programming these days. It is the season of giving after all. Pay it forward, baby mommas!

P.S. Here's another clip of Maury losing his shit when a sad lady wearing a choker necklace reveals how big of a Creep her baby daddy is. Kinda looks like Schwarzenegger in pain from Total Recall, no? Jump to 2:35 to see what I mean.

Blonde Ambition

Ohh boy. Check out baby Madge featured in a recent Toddlers & Tiaras episode. Glad this 2-year-old's parents didn't sink to playing Like a Virgin to back up their  working girl  daughter.

The dad/seamstress reminds me of Eric Stonestreet (Cam) from Modern Family.

Mugshot Love Chillun

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, it's baby makin' time at the Gainesville city jail. As a waste of both my time and yours, I figured out what the offspring of these orange hot lovers will look like:

$10,000 Hand Jobs

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Prettay, Prettay, Prettay Awesome

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Feminist or Fembot?

Airport security checks make some people's heads explode, especially if they're robots or reinforced with metal bits. That may be why retired dental surgeon Tammy Banovac (née Tammy Lynn Brewer) took great care to avoid further inspection. That, or she was trying to establish that both common sense and common courtesy were switched off in the TSA protocol monkeys. Kudos to her for some serious follow through and body confidence, but check out the Creeper fembot stare around the 0:39 mark!

And speaking of Creepers, coxing children to comply with TSA pat downs by calling it a game is certainly the wrong approach. While our world probably does contain it's share of wackos who would hide dangerous objects on a child's person/in their tiny pants, it seems we might need to listen to Helen Lovejoy on this one.

Land of the Lost

Planning a trip this holiday season? Don't forget to robustly reinforce your urostomy bag! Also, for those amongst you feeling less Lady Liberated and more the shame of your nakedness, one clever engineer has gifted us with the ability to Adam and Eve our TSA troubles away! Don't leave home without your Rocky Flats Gear!

And for those of you looking for an alternative to airport travel, there's always IT. Some trade-offs are worthwhile, I guess.

Thanks a bunch iZak W. for the heads up!