"Put your mental burden in my mind-vice, and I will crush it."

Jack Donaghy, voice of the future?! Perhaps if Google and 30 Rock have their way.

Google's acquisition of Phonetic Arts brings hope to the masses who have suffered grave miscommunication as a result of butchered Google Voicemail transcriptions. The Googquisition will also allow for more rapid development of realistic speech synthesis and state-of-the-art prank phone calls.

I wonder if Real Dolls are next on Google's hit-list of conquests. That would surely make for an interesting coupling of technologies aimed at the rapid development of functionalized and realistic synthetic girlfriends. Certainly one must examine the motivations driving new technological breakthroughs.

P.S. Kudos to those of you who, like Liz Lemon, use your friends as your therapist. Not only do they take your insurance, but the money you save can go to actual (retail) therapy. I even made up a jingle about it...

"Retail Therapy, you get somethin' for your money!"

Somebody needs to auto-tune that shit!


Disclaimer: The Real Dolls site is NSFW, nor is it safe for anyone with an aversion to graphic images of synthetic human bits.